So the lot of us met last night and had a few beers. Quite an awesome group-- I am very excited to hang with these guys. Stoked even!

But more on the group later. This morning I want to talk about one of the formal aspects of accepting this gig... the contract.

The contract each of us signed when accepting this job (if you can call it "a job") specifically stated that IN NO WAY IS EXPEDITON4AM PROMOTING OR ENCOURAGING ANY TYPE OF ILLEGAL, RECKLESS OR NEGLIGENT BEHAVIOR.

As you can suspect, this raised and eyebrow with me. "Promoting or encouraging?" Doesn't it seem odd that a legal contract failed to use stronger language? Something along the lines of Expedition4am ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT TOLLERATE any illegal behavior whatsoever. If caught engaging in illegal behavior your position with Expedition4am will be IMMEDIATELY TERMINATED. Or how about simple terms that those of us on this adventure would actually understand-- "Expedition4am will not bail your dumb ass out of jail when you get arrested."

Well, this isn't my first barbecue and, quite honestly, I can read between the lines. Here's the deal-- they're not "encouraging or promoting" the aforementioned behaviors, but neither are they "dissuading or prohibiting" them.

What we have here is a typical non-committal stance. It's the sort of neutrality the Swiss practiced during World War II. Base Camp is essentially turning a blind eye and what they don't see, didn't happen. And what does happen... well, they didn't promote or encourage it. Y'know, I had a High School Chemistry teacher who was like that, and things were always blowing up or burning when he wasn't looking. But hey, he didn't tell us to do it-- wink, wink.

Now I can understand their desire to distance themselves from us in the event we get so far out of hand that lawsuits begin flying left and right. I'm a man of reason. I can take a hint. And, quite honestly, they should have no worries, because we're not out to start trouble. It's not our bag, I tell you! We're adventure seekers! We're out to find good times and regale you with tales of our trials, tribulations and adventures.

I guess it was the vagueness or open-ended nature of this clause, which caugt my eye. And as the writer on this little outing, I feel it is my duty to clarify the wording a bit. So to put our employers at ease (not to mention law enforcement and the public at large) I have compiled the following list of the illegal, reckless and/or negligent behavior we promise NOT TO engage in on this trip:

Bank Robbery


Cattle Rustling


Arms Smuggling

Grand Larceny

Crimes Against Humanity






False Imprisonment

Raping and Pillaging

Cock Fighting

Piracy and/or smuggling on the open seas

Insider Trading

Embezzlement of sums greater than $500

Sodomy with animals

Violating the Laws of Physics

You have our word, Expedition4am -- None of this stuff will happen. We won't even think it.